On Safety and Connectedness: Compliments to Taiwan and her Citizens for Modeling Safe-City Culture

— A Young Canadian’s View on Why Taiwan is So Safe —

By Rebecca G. Kehl

When I was 17 and a 1/2, my good-humored, maverick father came over to Taiwan and lived here for a year. Then he came back and taught me his limited Mandarin, haha!:  我要,  好吃, and 你好嗎, and brought me back with him, telling me it was much safer than Canada.  The only thing he said residents of Taiwan had to watch out for were people who steal at night. He said people would actually climb up the buildings to get in and that was why all the homes had cages over their windows, even on very high floors!  The shops also had massive, steel garage doors that they pulled up in the morning and pulled down at night.  There was very little of breaking rules happening in Taiwan like there is in westernized countries regarding vandalism, petty crime, physical assaults, and even day-to-day societal mores. Yet, there is still a lot of social freedom like free speech, especially since political reforms in the mid-1980’s.
In terms of one’s physical safety out-of-doors, it was and is very, very safe at any time of day or night, in any part of Taipei or Taiwan. It’s not scary at all, and I’ve never felt or been bothered or threatened by any Taiwanese person in the 3+ years total that I’ve lived in Taiwan.. Whether I was coming home late, or stepping out in the middle of the night to the local Family Mart for a snack, it’s never felt out of the ordinary.  I’ll admit, I was stalked once by an older Taiwanese man when I was 19, but it wasn’t scary or threatening, only angering.

Here is a list from worldatlas.com of the top 50 most dangerous  cities of the world, country by country, in terms of # of murders:

  1. Venezuela  (Caracas, Maturin, Valencia, Ciudad Guyana, Barquisimeto, Cumana, Gran Barcelona, Maracaibo)
  2. Honduras  (San Pedro Sula, Distrito Central)
  3. El Salvador  (San Salvador)
  4. Mexico  (Acapulco, Culiacan, Tijuana, Victoria, Obregon)
  5. Colombia  (Palmira, Cali, Pereira)
  6. South Africa  (Cape Town, Durban, Nelson Mandela Bay, Johannesburg)
  7. Brazil  (Fortaleza, Natal, Salvador, Joao Pessoa, Maceio, Sao Luis, Cuiaba, Manaus, Belem, Feira de Santana, Goiania, Teresina, Vitoria, Vitória da Conquista,Recife, Aracaju, Campos dos Goytacazes, Campina Grande, Porto Alegre, Curitiba, Macapa)
  8. U.S.A.  (St. Louis, Baltimore, Detroit, New Orleans)
  9. Guatemala  (Guatemala)
  10. Jamaica  (Kingston)

So, the big question: why are Taiwanese citizens so safe compared to citizens of some other countries?

台灣加油2

What I’m noticing the most is Taiwanese people don’t abandon each other. Parents don’t shove their kids out the door for good at age 16, 18 if the child is rebellious. Taiwanese parents aren’t as hard on their kids or push them to grow up so quickly as in the west. They shelter their kids and watch out for them moreso. Their families also stick together more with grandparents hugely apart of their children and grandchildren’s lives, and there is less divorce.  Taiwanese parents often go to great lengths in their working years to give their kids a university education, even sending them overseas to study in a western country where tuition for non-residents is double or even triple the amount that citizens pay! That’s a great feat! Parents in Taiwan make huge efforts to make sure their kids are successful, including pushing them in school to study hard for long hours to do well on exams.  I would say the Taiwanese education system really needs an upgrade, but even the school system is set up where it is almost impossible for a child to fall through the cracks; Taiwan currently has a no-child-left-behind policy where they have created extra programs and classes for students who aren’t getting it, to make it through the state curriculum. So at least, according to Taiwan’s education system, the child has not failed.

The next biggest thing I’ve noticed in Taiwan is if you threaten or actually hurt someone, the person who was threatened or hit will tell EVERYONE about it, and the abuser will lose status, big time.  Even when there is a player or cheater in the midst, women and men here make a big fuss compared to the typical western woman and man. Here, anyone will openly warn you about people (I was protected on two occasions from guys who showed interest in me whose dealings with other women weren’t good).  Your peer group and the community will shake their heads and talk about you when you’re just a table away.  You will lose face.

Here’s a TED about a man who runs men’s leadership program for the U.S. Marines Corp and American Football leagues. He is also an anti-sexism educator. His main question when it comes to physical and sexual assault of women, boys, and girls is, “What’s going on with men?”

A few months ago I was sitting in a woman’s small outdoor café. She makes delicious coffee and offers cookies on the side. There was a group of us chatting about random news of a man who hurt people on the MRT in Taipei, and how he will be in jail for life. I asked how long lifetime sentences are here in Taiwan, and she said literally, the rest of the person’s life (although I believe it depends on intent). In North America, spending life in jail usually means 15-25 years.  In Taiwan, I’ve heard it said at least 3 times from different Taiwanese citizens that if someone murders someone in Taiwan, if that person isn’t picked up by the police and sent to jail, the people of Taiwan will beat that person to death themselves:  他會被薹灣人打死。They’re not actually beaten to death, but beaten up quite well for revenge. Essentially, Taiwanese people take care of societal problem societally.  I’ve also heard the laws around murder is actually not that strict compared to their laws around drugs, but these are general opinions of people I’ve asked.

So, why did I write this article?

I recently have had infrequent communication with a young man I went to junior high and high school with in the province of Alberta, Canada.  He’s apparently been unhappy with his life and himself for some time. I remember him in junior high school as having unique behavioral characteristics that some may label as slow (I hardly know how to describe it, we’re all so different…) or learning challenges, perhaps.  I remember him being good to others and generous, though. When people asked him for gum or something he had, he would hesitate, but then share. Such resources can be precious in school as a student. 🙂 We had an English class together with Mr. Beatty in grade 8 I think, and a Visual Arts class as well.  I remember him being himself, speaking his unique opinions with his own humor, and never hurting or being a threat to others. He was native I think, had a slight punk/grunge look, not flamboyant though, wearing all black clothing, not caring about rips, and keeping his hair grown to his shoulders.

So, what happened with him? Until now he’s never kissed a girl, and neither said I love you to a girl nor heard those words repeated back to him. He said he is giving himself 3 years more to live because he can’t fathom a life lived alone, unloved, unappreciated, invisible. He said he’s already been out to meet people, but that his fate has already been decided, that there is no place in his life for love and friendship. He said some people try and try and never get friendship or love, and others don’t have to try and they never have a shortage of it.

I was a bit shocked, it came out of nowhere. Some people are happy with a simple life and others are searching for more, I guess. But my first response was just suggesting he start loving and appreciating himself, to ask himself often, how he can take care of himself, his needs, wants, etc.

His response was, “sorry, I can’t love myself”. That response right there was the end.

The sob stories continued.

I acknowledged the depression, but emphasized more than anything that he’s got to love and care for himself, otherwise how can he expect others to? The undeniable fact is he’s lovable, end of story.

We went back and forth a little, getting to the heart of it: he felt worthless; on the bottom of the Darwinism totem pole; at the feet of the elites like dirt. He asked why couldn’t he have been an animal or something else, because he can’t even interact with his own species. He said, humans need social interaction, and the best he can do is write to someone from another country (me). He continues, all he wants are real friends, not the fake ones, and the love of a good woman, which he thinks could cure everything in his life and set him at ease. So, we’re teasing out some deep, universal needs: true friends and a good partner to love and to be loved by – basic stuff!  However, because he can’t have (get) these things, he’s set his expiration date for 2019 Nov 20 at 6:30.

I told him it sounds like he needs to talk to someone professionally on a regular basis. I let him know a little bit about the period in my life where I felt depressed and that I went to talk to someone about it. Heartbreak, struggling with self-confidence, feeling unsupported, unseen…  I think I looked fine, I had friends, dates, I was getting my degree, and I was attractive and fairly active. But, everyone has periods of weakness and sadness in this life, and sometimes we can’t and shouldn’t bare the burden alone. We need to talk to someone whose job it is to listen and help us fix our lives and feel better from the inside out. There is nothing shameful in this. We got to get on our feet. beyondawholesome

Later on, this man’s messages were getting a little more extreme and I responded more slowly because I felt that he was trying to emotionally manipulate me to get my attention and sympathy. Who likes that?  Instead of waiting for me to get back to him, he sent worse correspondences to get a response, like his attempted suicide by hanging.  I can be an accepting friend to someone, but I cannot pull them out of the trench they themselves wish to stay in, and use, to get needs met.

The final correspondence I got from him before I blocked and reported him was:
“to funny someone just tried to label me as a sociopath/serial killer more like it. I only could say I wish I was a serial killer they have it all or more then I do. They can blend into society with ease. have the power of charm and other delights/illusions I could only wish for. example the most famous of all of them Ted Bundy. This guy had it all somehow, has a gf/wife, friends here and there as well. He raped and killed I think 40+ woman in a span of 4 years. He was caught and convicted to jail. Now heres the real kicker when he was in jail women still lined up and wanted him after knowing his convictions against women. All and all it’s the charm/illusions skill want real life magicians.”

In my last message I said that esteeming a man who committed horrendous crimes against women is where we draw the line. I asked him to check himself, characterized that this is not the direction he wants to be headed, and that this behaviour is not okay. We all want attention, but messing with women, the very creatures he wishes to love, isn’t the way. I pointed him in the direction of a good, holistic healing clinic in the area he lives, and let him know I will be telling people back home. I asled him to start looking around and noticing others’ struggles – notice that he isn’t the only one.
rosesThere isn’t a soul that hasn’t suffered.
What distinguishes certain souls from others? Those who take the lemons and make lemonade. I said, if he really wants to feel better, helping others feels really good. Who needs help? Old people, animals in shelters, invalids. And the earth, what about the few billion trees it needs in order to bring down the CO2 in the atmosphere? I challenged him: How are you helping? I said, The idea is, instead of seeing how everyone can give to you, how can you give to them? Instead  of trying to get someone to love you, how can you love others?  Not the love that demands something in return, but pure love that loves for the sheer joy of it.

I truly hope westerners can travel a little more to parts of the world where family values, connection, and community is important… Additionally, I hope the return of front-porch culture, knowing your neighbours, including others, and generosity comes back; a culture based on friendships and relationships, rather than the individual; where we stick by one another loyally, and draw healthy boundaries so the people around us know what is OK, and what is not. I believe the more connections we have, the less loneliness and separation we will feel. The more support we have and provide, the more inclusion in and contribution to the society we will feel. It means placing less importance on the things that provide you with a sense of status and false-popularity, and giving more importance to the living world: people, animals, plants, nature.

Congratulations Taiwan, for having a society that maintains these ideals, and by doing so, the people are happier, and therefore safer. 🙂 xo

Rebecca Kehl

Canadian woman having spent a fair chunk of her young adult life in Formosa! The name of her game: healthy living, animals and trees, and finding ways to de-plasticize our daily lives, chemical-free! Dancer, wellness enthusiast, cappu-lover, true friend, human, woman, soul, stardust... ;)

8 thoughts on “On Safety and Connectedness: Compliments to Taiwan and her Citizens for Modeling Safe-City Culture

    • April 12, 2016 at 12:47 am
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      The mrt killer confessed that originally he wanted to commit suicide but, didn’t have the courage so he thought if I kill the state will do it for me. The death doesn’t deter these kilns of maniacs. You do not need to be brilliant to figure that one out just thoughtful. This group is nothing more than a modern day
      Lunch mob. Revenge is what they want and that’s all they will get

      Reply
      • April 12, 2016 at 4:24 am
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        sorry about all the typos in my previous post. i was typing on my cell phone without my glasses. Bad idea. There is video tape that has being going around facebook of a man in the states who has been identified as being diagnosed with schizophrenia. This man ran around in a major shopping area and stabbed several people all the while hysterically laughing, He might not be deemed fit to stand trial and be incarcerated in a mental institution somewhere for a very long time or if his mental condition does happen to fall through the cracks, he will be charged as a sane adult and sentenced accordingly. Any sane person when hearing of a someone killing a child would react thinking this person is insane. we cannot conceive of any possible motivation for someone committing such a heinous act. But , we hold people like this as being responsible for their actions. As being sane people. The death penalty is a deterrent for you and I and most sane people but, there is something else stopping us from killing and that is we have respect for human life. It is a statistical fact that most people that commit murder are either insane or have been driven to the point of temporary insanity. For people in this emotional state , the death people is not something that is even considered or even sometimes welcomed. In studies around the world the death penalty does not deter others from killing. so that leaves us with revenge. and while revenge is a natural human emotion it just extends the cycle of killing. we never get to find out what is it that drove that person to do what they did. Death is not closure for the victims families. it is a quick fix that soon fades and we are left still feeling loss and wonder why. it promotes fear and leaves us feeling isolated from each other.

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      • May 24, 2016 at 7:17 pm
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        That’s just it. You hit the point. The existence of the death penalty is what inspires those who are too gutless to take themselves out. They choose an innocent and vulnerable victim to kill, and trust the state to take care of the burden of their own death. Death is not a punishment for these people: it’s the reward.

        Reply
  • April 11, 2016 at 7:12 am
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    i think it is very true that Taiwan is a much safer place to be than many other countries and Taiwanese families do stick together and parents do not kick there kids out at a certain age nor do they force them to grow up. But, convicted murderers in Taiwan, if convicted of premeditated murder do not go to jail for life, they get executed. The man on the MRT was sentenced to Death and there are many more on death row in Taiwan. I would have to say that while Taiwan is great in many ways , there justice system is broken beyond belief as in many countries. If there author is saying that Taiwanese people take care of criminal behavior in a just way, then I would have to differ. I am not trying to knock Taiwan , but i think like in any society there is danger in giving itself too much general praise. Let’s just stick with Taiwan being a much safer place to be than many other countries and leave it at that. as for the other issues , for Taiwanese and for those expats that have made a home here, we should be taking the good and being honest and dealing with the bad.

    Reply
    • April 11, 2016 at 8:32 am
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      John! Thanks for your comments, information, and good to hear what folks are thinking. I’m curious what you think the worst part of this style of justice system is, in terms of not giving murderers access to the general public again by letting them back out after a sentence (as does the west), and the worst ails of the death sentence in a world that is already over-populated.
      Also, it seems some uninformed people are under the impression that Taiwanese murderers are let out after 3 years. I originally thought the Taiwanese judicial system was very hard on offenders of every kind, as you describe, until I heard some general opinions of a couple others.

      Reply
      • April 11, 2016 at 1:16 pm
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        First I have to say that if over population is a factor in deciding weather or not a murder should be executed then we can through the idea of what is just and right, right out the window. Who do we decide to write off as human beings and with what authority. The problem with the justice system in Taiwan is not so much in the style of justice but rather in how it is administered. In Taiwan as in the USA where there is the death penalty, the poor, ethnic minorities and those not able to afford or put together an adequate defense end up getting executed and without due process. The media in Taiwan is hopelessly corrupt. The media in Taiwan lacks any kind of integrity. The media supports the popular idea and does not investigate or present the facts. Anyway, I do not want to make this a death penalty debate, but if anyone was to investigate the history of death penalty cases in Taiwan. From how there were investigated by the police to how they were tried and appealed I am convinced they would find evidence of a broken system. Justice as it was originally intended is to restore balance. Is a death for a death restoring balance? I personally believe that no one is born evil and can be brought back from the darkest of places. I also believe that where there is crime there needs to be punishment. No definitive answers here just ideas and opinions. I personally believe that most people do not know what goes on behind the closed doors of the justice systems not only in Taiwan but , in many countries around the world. Maybe we are doing our best but, I hope that this is not our best.

        Reply
        • April 12, 2016 at 12:50 am
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          “…ethnic minorities and those not able to afford or put together an adequate defense end up getting executed and without due process” … “I personally believe that no one is born evil and can be brought back from the darkest of places.”

          Absolutely, beautiful response. Agreed.

          I suppose as a woman, and someone who deeply cares, I truly want people to get well from the deepest recesses of their darkness. I also know the current judicial systems worldwide tend not to have such healing centers set up, outside of rehabilitation centers and government established social services that many not have the most powerful healers and competent counseling therapists employed. And so the people (not including the poor or indigenous caught defenseless in a tough situation, which indeed happens so often worldwide) who are truly, remorselessly, shamelessly abusing and killing children, women, and men, hmmm…. I am guilty of very little pity for their demise, as their actions on the world are being left behind tainting it via the lives of the individuals they’ve touched. It can take years for someone to get over abuse… So much time lost just getting over it, meanwhile, missing out on the fullness of life. But, like you, these are just my ideas and opinions, and I do not think this is our best. 🙂

          Reply

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