My Run-In With The Dumpling Vendor

fricken YuM
by Trista di Genova

There’s this little place deep in the Heart of Banciao
where they admittedly have some great shui-jiao
but some lousy, cheese-emporium-like service.

When I ordered some curry dumplings,
they said they were all out – mai wan le
so I tried to score some Korea-style dumplings
and they were out of those
and leek dumplings, too.
They were all out of everything
except nine pork dumplings.

So I said, “Okay, I’ll take those.”
It took a long, long time. I took off my jacket
and scarf, and found I was really parched
and went up front to order some soup.
They were all outta that, too.

I said, “Are you the laoban here?
Because if you are, you’re an idiot.
Isn’t this a shui-jiao shop?
But everything’s mai-wan le.”

The Laoban said they have a lot of
xue-shao ren,’ ‘elementary schoolpeople.
“But you know a lot of skoolkids are comin’,’
I contested, ‘so why not buy more?”
He said I was not polite, bu keqi
and blah blah blah as he
held a basket of dumplings over hot water.

A bit vexed, I told him “Okay, just keep ’em, fuck it,’
and on the turning away, he spat out “Fock You!!!’

One thought on “My Run-In With The Dumpling Vendor

  • December 30, 2011 at 3:00 am

    Dan: That’s a bummer. I love 水餃. The good news is that businesses like this are equally confused and disorganized anywhere you go in the word. Doesn’t that give you a nice warm feeling?

    Robert: happy new year!!!!

    Beth: ‎”Deep in the heart of Banciao…set to the tune “Deep in the Heart of Texas”
    Sorry to hear you didn’t get you dumplings…time to find a new and better dumpling shop. Happy New Year!…I owe you a phone call…off this weekend will try to call you….”Deep in the Heart of Banciao…”

    Phillip: You can’t always get what you wa-ant,
    No. You can’t always get what you wa-ant…Mick Jagger

    Mark: I thought the Banchiao Shopping Mall would have taken care of that need where “anything you want you can get it.”


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